*Updated to include over 60 of the best hacks for single living...
Park in the garage so that no one knows when you are home vs. when you are away.
Park in the garage so that you don't have to scrape off the snow; you don't have to wash the car as often; and you don't have to worry about your doors freezing shut.
Pay for lawn are and snow removal services. It is worth every penny. Shop around for a reasonable price; talk with guys who already do work on your street for your neighbors.
Keep various stools and ladders conveniently stowed around the house. Any item that is used daily should be stored within reach.
Keep a jar opener grippy cloth handy.
Have Alexa call your phone when you lose it inside of the house. She is also good for telling you the weather while you get ready, or turning the lights on and off, and for changing the music while you are busy painting or washing the dishes.
Security system, melatonin and sleep music on every night.
Ashwagandha tea to help de-stress.
Ring Security system is easy to install yourself and has affordable 24/7 monitoring. ADT monitoring can be very expensive and the contracts and customer service are very poor per many long-term customers.
Place "camera surveillance" and "be aware of Dog" signs around the property to deter break-ins.
Prioritize sufficient automatic exterior lighting in your home renovation budget to reduce risk of falls and intruder attempts.
Foster or adopt a Pitbull child from the local shelter.
Collect ammunition, guns, knives, and any weapons of your preference in case the world gets [more] out of hand and your Lara Croft, Tomb Raider, Mrs. Smith personality has to be unleashed for survival mode.
Carry pepper spray and a mini-siren daily. Know how to use it.
Be proactive with your car maintenance issues. Find car guys you can trust via family and close friends.
Layer insurance policies and emergency funds for added financial security and protection.
Build multiple sources of income so that you are not trapped at any one place, in case it turns toxic or takes a toll on your mental health and you have to leave with minimal notice. (Always have a way out!) Be prepared with back up plans and safety nets in case of situations like COVID or lay-offs.
Smile, make eye contact, and say hello to everyone you pass when you are out and about. Talk with strangers regularly to get sufficient doses of daily human interaction in.
If you are an extrovert, find communal living arrangements and enjoy the increased safety and mental health benefits of sharing a place with other humans. Most major cities have plenty of opportunities for house sharing due to higher costs of living.
Have your location "always on" with at least one trusted friend and let them know whenever you are picking up furniture from a guy on FB out in the middle-of-nowhere.
Walk "with" or close to other groups of people at night and avoid the dark and vacant streets.
Don't ride the the Q-Line all the way to Highland Park at night alone even if that stop is closest to home. Be aware that the large Little Caesars Arena crowd all gets off within the first couple of stops and then you are going to be alone after that.
*Try* to be off of the streets by dark, when traveling alone by foot or bike. If you get distracted exploring and vlogging, your bike tire falls off, or your walk directions on your GPS fail you, call a friend, neighbor, or catch a ride with your favorite police officers.
Get all contractor referrals from trusted sources.
Get 4-6 quotes on every project. Go with your gut instinct on who you can trust the most, instead of purely going for the lowest pricing.
Build your team of experts and call them. Call the plumber for your serious plumbing issues, not your family or friends. Talk to your tax strategist about your questions, not your family or friends. Talk to someone who is already successful in the line of business you are entering; not family and friends.
If you live in an old historic home and the shower pipes freeze at frigid temperatures because the plumbing runs to the front exterior wall, setting the faucet to a slow drip may prevent the pipes from freezing. *I am not a plumber, but this has worked wonders for me.*
Do not worry about the slow drip significantly impacting your water bill. It's only for a day or so and could prevent your pipes from freezing and bursting, which is guaranteed to cost you a lot more money.
Keep beer stocked in the fridge, even if you don't drink alcohol, so that you are prepared to thank neighbors, uncles and cousins who stop by to help you out in a pinch with moving furniture, etc.
When men (neighbors, contractors, Randoms, door-knocking salesmen) assume that you have a husband, don't correct them.
When the same men realize you are single, act like you are working with a business partner on a flip and as opposed to this being your primary residence where you live by yourself.
Don't overshare about what you do for work, your schedule or your favorite places you frequent. It's no body's business.
When asked if you are single by someone you are not interested in, reply "I am taken." This is 100% accurate. I am taken by my husband. No one needs to know where he is at or whether or not this spiritual reality has manifested yet.
When guys you are uninterested in ask for your number, smile and say "I am not accepting any new numbers at this time, I appreciate your interest, have a nice day!"
Do not deprive yourself of heated blankets. QUALITY OF LIFE HACK*
Don't let everyone know where you live at. Especially not guys you just met at the bar or via online dating. Screen them thoroughly over a month's time period first (at minimum).
Be selective with which neighbors you let into your house, even when asking for help or advice.
Use every big or small accomplishment as an opportunity for a girl's night! Don't wait until a far off, hypothetical, bridal shower to get all of your favorite ladies together. Invite them over for every birthday, job promotion and business start-up!
Go where you want, when you want, with or without your family and friends. Experience the deep joy of participating in any and all activities you wish by yourself, including but not limited to: dinner, the movies, bar-hopping, shopping, traveling, concerts and more.
Facetime somebody before you sink to deep into one of those loneliness self-pity parties.
Surround yourself with married couples and people who support and respect you; who accept where you are at and look out for you; who will let you come over for Pitbull therapy when you are in a rough spot; who will take you out for dinner during the holidays; who would only ever try to set you up with a quality man, and who will never pressure you to give every man you meet "a chance" nor tell you repeatedly that your standards are too high and that you are going to be single forever.
Take Ballroom Dancing classes. There are many benefits here. Stress reduction and feminine energy building are two. It's also great practice for learning how to allow a man lead you, so that when the right one comes along, you are able to sit back and let him lead.
Take online courses, in-person workshops and classes on skills you want to develop. There are many free classes and webinars available online and in-person.
If you are unable to commit to full-time pet parenting, volunteer at the local dog shelter and foster shelter dogs, or offer to dog-sit for other foster parents.
Always dress up like you are on a date, because you are.... whicha fine self.
Give yourself the best gifts, all year round.
Offer to take pictures of people when you are traveling alone and ask them to take pictures of you in return.
Master the art of platonic relationships. Understand and experience the multitude of mental health benefits.
Discover all of your favorite things and indulge regularly, uninterrupted.
Light candles for yourself and enjoy dimmed lights & soft music after a long day.
Pay for monthly massage therapy. Look into free professional counseling through an EAP at your job. Follow licensed therapists and psychologists on Youtube to help you work through some of your maladaptive behaviors and thought processes.
Join groups that interest you on FB and attend meetups to meet like-minded people. It feels great to be able to do what you love, in the company of other human beings.
Volunteer at events that are not in your budget to attend as a formal guest.
Ask guys to bring their dogs to the park as a preferred first date. This will take off a lot of pressure and will allow you to assess their leadership and parenting skills day one, without wasting any time on further dates or text conversations.
Don't waste your time on text message conversations with men you might be interested in. It is impossible to get to know anyone via text messages. Let them know that you are not a texter. Provide an honest explanation: "It is impossible to get to know anyone via text and I have a busy schedule, so I find it to be a waste of time." Let them call you at their convenience. If the phone conversation does not give you good vibes, an in-person meeting will likely be worse. You may want to save that time to enjoy a different activity.
Work on your people screening skills and practice trusting your judgement.
Don't chase anyone or anything besides your fears.
Do your daily affirmations to reprogram your subconscious to work for you and to be your servant, not your master.
Focus on your personal goals and projects. Put in the work to obtain your healing, happiness, health and financial stability. Let the rest come to you in God's perfect timing.
ENJOY and CHERISH every moment of your single season!! The challenges that come with singlehood are minimal compared to the character-building, freedom, healing, pure peace and unadulterated enjoyment this lifestyle has to offer! Being single is 100Xs easier than being in a romantic relationship.
Being single may not always seem easy, but it is extremely simple. You are in 100% control of your time, your emotions, your health, your decisions and the responsibilities you choose to take on. There is no other person adding layers of their own set of beliefs, triggers, plans, opinions, fears and anxieties. If you cannot figure out what your own wants and needs are while you are single, you will likely never be able to communicate them to a partner...
If you can't master finding happiness and contentment while you are single, it will be even more difficult to do so with another person. You will likely over-rely on them to "make" you happy and solve all of your problems, which is unfair and on the list of unrealistic expectations for marriage.
A partner is supposed to be an excellent teammate and they are supposed to help you where you are weak, but we are 100% responsible for putting in our own work and carrying our weight, both emotionally and financially. Your potential spouse is probably not looking to adopt a burden or an adult dependent; and when I say this, I mean a women with no job, no hobbies, no charitable work, no developed skills and no emotional intelligence, who is just waiting around to be saved, while focused on partying and looking pretty. Work on making sure you are an asset and not a liability, so that you can add value to the right person when he comes along. You should be able to make each other's lives easier. A healthy match is when you have both attained independence, stability, and overall healing from the past.
Never settle for the wrong person, or the wrong relationship, just for the sake of not being alone. It is never worth it and it is very emotionally and mentally unhealthy. It will very likely set you back in your progress and healing, and may result in more baggage and triggers being added to your load and carried into the next relationship.
Don't get too physically attached, before getting to know a person holistically, for who they are. Chemistry and hormones should not take precedent over quality, stability, integrity, reliability and compatibility. Chemistry and hormones can cloud your judgement and interfere with even the best people screening capabilities.
Take up Boxing, Krav Maga, or get your CPL and practice shooting at a local range.
*Two bonus hacks recommended by ladies at a recent girls' night:
Take pictures of your self when you are crying. Look at the picture and you will instantly realize nothing is that serious. It will help you shake it off, whatever "it" is.
Track your crying spells and triggers/sources and different kinds of crying and generate pie charts and quantifiable and qualitative data to review at the end of the year for trends. (This lady is an engineer).
Third bonus hack: Never be afraid to cry and never apologize! Tears are a healthy expression of self and a healing release of strong emotions of all kinds. Be compassionate with yourself and patient with your inner child. Validate your feelings. Don't minimize them!
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